Why I'm bitter about coffee meetings

Hey there! Thanks for reading. Follow me for mid-week updates:
LinkedIn | TikTok | GoWild | Twitter | YouTube 
If you find my content valuable, please grab the share link at the bottom and share on LinkedIn or Twitter. Give me a @ tag so I can thank you, too! - Brad

When I was first building my company, I would get coffee with anyone who had 5 minutes and ears.

My rationale was they might unlock doors for me.

Some did.

Most did not.

Most people are also coming into these meetings with their own asks and expectations, or they want to find an easy path. They may want to sell you something, or they want to see if you have your own set of keys to doors they’ve found to be locked.

This is the double edged sword of networking, and it is one of the biggest time sucks of being a founder.

“I have a friend”

When you found a company, you need to talk about it. Too many founders build in a vacuum—they should be talking about it nonstop on LinkedIn, Twitter (sorry, “X”), networking events, etc. The challenge with talking about what you’re building, is you’re going to turn up people who truly want to help.

“OK, Brad. What’s the problem with people who want to help?”

Glad you asked.

They will often introduce you to people who are a waste of time.

I realize I sound like a curmudgeon right now, but think of this—if you take three of these kinds of meetings per week, you’re out 12.5 hours per month, and this is assuming you were doing conference calls. If it’s in person, go ahead and add an hour per meeting for travel at a minimum. That’s a day and a half of productivity per month at a minimum, and more than two weeks per year gone.

That volume sounds high, but if I took all of my proposed intros, I could do five meetings a week on a slow week.

I’ve run into so many intros that look something like this:

“Hey Brad, I love GoWild. I actually have a friend who has a basketball app. He worked with Academy Sports, and since they also sell hunting gear, I thought this could be a good intro for you. I’m going to connect you two.”

This is a well intended intro, but it’s likely going to go nowhere.

If someone told me this, I’d immediately look up the potential introduction, check their background and if I think it’s a dead end for both of us, I would politely tell my friend that at this time I don’t think there is much to be gained for either of us. If they made a blind intro without asking, I would tell the new connection the same thing.

It sounds rude. Maybe it is, to some degree. But it’s the most respectful thing to do for everyone’s time.

When you’re building a company, time is your most valuable asset. It is more valuable than cash, because time is cash. Every day that passes is burning runway. As the founder, your time is the most valuable asset you have because you are not only steering the ship, you’re creating the wind for the sails. It’s critical to stay out of these bad connections so you can stay focused on what’s converting.

This is not a “Brad” problem. I see it happening in many fresh founders as they navigate the waters, thinking each conversation might be the wave that propels them to their next milestone.

Instead they’re heading into a storm.

How to pre-qualify an intro

In order to keep conversations productive, there are a few tactful ways to pre-qualify a relationship:

1) Don’t be afraid to ask what’s on the agenda

When I get a cold intro or a cold message from a stranger who wants to meet, I have no problem letting them know my schedule is packed, and I’d like to know what value they foresee, and what would be the topic of discussion. If it’s a sales call in the making, they’ll be forced to say “I work at X company, and I think Y product would be a good fit.” At this point, I can decide if I see value in that product. If they just want to chat and see what synergies are there—it’s a pass. Usually the valuable conversations waiting to happen are semi-apparent if not obvious before you even take the call. “Oh, this person worked at X company. They’re a potential partner for us. They may be able to introduce us.”

2) Find real industry overlap or skill set gaps

If someone is in my industry, there’s a chance of a real partnership. It still requires some vetting, but at least we’re getting closer. Similar to industry, if they have skills in an area that I’m learning or I’m weak in, I may want to take the call to see what I can learn. There’s also a chance I can help them.

3) Look for definitive value not potential “synergy”

As I noted above, if the goal of the pursuer is just open ended conversation, you’re probably wasting your time. I’ve taken so many of these calls, and rarely have I left glad I took the call. Often it even ends awkwardly, as both of us realize we’re just going through the motions because we thought we were being kind by taking the intro call.

It’s madness.

This is why No. 1 is so critical. If it’s not clear from the intro where the value is for one of you, it’s likely a waste of time. Have a defined goal or possible avenue in mind before taking the call.

Exceptions to the rule

I want to be clear, I’m not saying intros have to only be valuable for me. I often get people asking if they can introduce me to someone who is trying to do something similar to what I’ve done—build an app, start an ecommerce store, found a business, whatever. I often take these calls if I think I can really add value for someone. I also can’t tell you how many founders I’ve helped with investor intros or pitch deck help who have come back around to help me later. Pay it forward, and it’ll often pay you back.

Similarly, I’ve turned these intros down if I don’t think I can help. I may recommend a book or following someone who is a thought leader in the space, but if I don’t have anything to offer on the subject matter, I can tell you that in an email—we don’t need 30 minutes of niceties and you asking how the weather is in Louisville today to accomplish that.

I truly believe in “give first” without asking what’s in it for me, but you have to balance “give first” with people who haven’t put in an ounce of effort in researching the problem. I’m fine with being a resource for information that’s hard to learn, but if someone wants to treat me like Google and just ask a lot of basic questions that are easily discoverable with some research, that person is lazy and not someone I’m going to put my time into. In contrast, I want to help founders who are ready to get their hands dirty.

As a founder, my job is to give every ounce of myself into what I’m building first. I owe that to my investors, team, customers and my family. People are depending on me to use my time well. They need me to figure out not only where we’re going, but how we’re going to get there. I can’t do that if I can’t manage my own time.

How to properly intro someone

If you want to introduce two people, the best method is to get a double opt in (examples and more on this here). When you get a double opt in, you respect everyone’s time, don’t assume you know who someone wants to meet, avoid putting someone else in an awkward position of having to explain why they don’t see value, etc.

So before you connect two people, just see if they’d actually like to be introduced before you come in guns blazing shouting “happy connecting!” with a megaphone and a fist bump emoji.

How to ask for an intro

Lately I have been on the flip side of this equation, where I’m asking for the intro. This is a fine balance, and the absolute best way to do this is a forwardable email. This process means I identify that I want to meet someone, let’s say his name is Benjamin Franklin. I see that Benjamin Franklin also knows Thomas Edison. Oh, I know Tommy! I ask Tommy if he’s willing to forward an email to Benny Boy. If he says yes, he knows him well enough, I send a fresh forwardable that can be passed along (and therefore getting the double opt in). If Tommy doesn’t know Ben that well, then I can try to find a better connection.

Yes, it’s a process. But this is still multiples more efficient than a world where cold intros are thrown around like parade candy.

Hard earned wisdom

Again, I know I sound jaded. 2016 Brad would totally disagree with this approach, because that version of Brad saw himself as a notorious networker. I still am, but after years of this game, I’ve found what the results are of casting a wide net in dark waters vs. sight fishing and focusing on a specific goal.

Remember—time is your most valuable asset. It’s only a cliche because so many people have learned it to be true and continue to spread the word.

Who I’m listening to: Jobi Riccio

What I’m reading: “Outlive: The Science & Art of Longevity” by Peter Attia

Follow me for mid-week updates:

LinkedIn | TikTok | GoWild | Twitter | YouTube