Remove this content from your pitch

I made my pitch. It felt good, at least for a second.

“I don’t believe you.” 

The bold statement came from across the small room.

My self assurance evaporated. 

My face flushed. 

I felt angry. 

In hindsight, he was dead on.

Today’s post will improve your pitch across marketing, fundraising and sales by removing fluffy superlative language.

A room of investors, mentors and advisors

In 2019, my cofounders and I were traveling to St. Louis from Louisville, Ky. every other week. We had made it into the competitive Stadia Ventures accelerator, a 12 week program that helped startups with funding and fundamentals. Our weeks in St. Louis were full of intense meetings with potential investors, mentors and people from some of the largest companies in sports. It was a game changing experience. 

After two days of uplifting sessions, Fridays were for soul sucking. Each company had five or six mentors assigned to them, and on Friday, we’d all sit down for two hours together. They chewed up your deck, put your numbers through a wood chipper, questioned your strategy, and so on. It was a healthy-yet-no-holds-barred battle over what’s best for the company.

This Friday, Zack and I sat in a small office with our mentors. I had rebuilt my deck based on the prior week’s feedback, and just finished doing the new pitch. From across a desk, Dan, our lead mentor, stated four words that not only snapped my face back his direction, but raised my heart rate. 

“I don’t believe you.”

I looked Dan in the eyes. He did not back down. 

“Well, why not?” I said, clearly on my heels now.

“Your whole pitch is ‘we’re the best this’ and ‘we’re the fastest growing that.’ It’s all unprovable fluff.”

I sat thinking. There was no retort. 

Dan was dead on. 

My pitch was 10 minutes of vague venerations.

The danger in ambiguity 

To this day, I’ve done my best to remove ambiguity from not only my pitch deck, but our website, marketing material and largely just out of my mouth when speaking to investors. 

Nearly every startup deck I see says they’re the best at something.

And nearly all of them are building their identity on fluff instead of fundamentally sound claims. Here’s the thing to remember—no one falls for it. They may not be as blunt as Dan, but they’re all skeptical. (Also, love ya, Dan).

The worst offender is the “best” claim. At a high level and as a company, it’s hard to claim to be the best at anything outright. Is Amazon the best ecommerce experience? Usually, but not always. For example, reviews are often fake, sometimes you can be overwhelmed with selection, niche brands often won’t sell on the platform and it can be a difficult platform to break into as a seller.

But if I said “Amazon has a sophisticated last mile experience with their updates and app” we’re now in a territory that is definitively theirs to own, with accurate delivery estimates, photo evidence of delivery sent straight to your phone, and arrival alerts. Even still, it’s better to lean on clarity around what is sophisticated about the product, than to say “Amazon is the best at last mile.” Because “best” leaves you to ask “OK but why?” 

Still, companies lead off pitch decks and websites with “we’re the best.” The best at what? This superlative has no place in a pitch deck. 

Similar offenders:

Instead of leaning on superlatives, I now just state the facts. If we’re growing fast, say the stat.

“We’re growing at 17% month over month.” Savvy investors will know this is great growth, and you’ve provided clarity instead of mystery. No one will doubt the growth because of its specificity, and you are building a reputation as someone who knows their numbers and is transparent. 

I promise you, if you open your website, sales deck or pitch deck right now, you’ll find at least one of such pieces of copy that needs to go.

Cut the fluff. Earn trust. Expel the doubters. 

Content idea for this week

What have you learned about your pitch? Do you have any “I don’t believe you” moments that you can share? You don’t have to be an expert to create content. You just have to be willing to share your experiences. Remember, someone else is trying to figure out that which you’ve already learned. 

Who I’m listening to: Maggie Rose

What I’m reading: “The Spotify Play” by Sven Carlsson & Jonas Leijonhufvud

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