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My secret to standing out in a digital world is getting physical

Lord, get your mind out of the gutter

Employees don’t quit jobs, they quit managers. I support anyone quitting a crappy leader instead of swimming upstream and trying to fix their working conditions. It’s often not worth the toll on your health.

If you’re the leader in stressful conditions, it can be hard to quickly relieve the team’s stress. However, there is one simple action you can take to help at least temporarily remove the pressure during adverse times, and show you still care about them.

I’ll reveal my secret momentarily—just have a pen and paper ready.

I used to work with someone who raised my anxiety levels the second I saw them coming because I knew we were about to throw down. Every interaction we had together had become chaotic and downright angry. It would leave me with anxiety that I took home. One evening I was giving my baby boy a bath when I snapped out of a trance. I realized I was completely zoned out and missing this moment with my kid because I was playing back an argument in my head, thinking of all the things I should have said to prove my point.

Often I would still be stewing on something this person said when I came to the office the next day. Many times, my direct boss (a different person) would say something nice to me about a piece of work I did, or she’d come to me excited about a new client we were going to pitch together, or she’d even give me homemade cookies sometimes. These small interactions would always bring me back around, and remind me that while I didn’t like one particular person, I did like my job, (most of my) team and boss. One kind gesture outweighed an hour of arguing the day before.

Today I am going to share a tip for building a memorable gesture for your team, but please know I am not advising you to put lipstick on a pig. If your workplace is operating with a toxic culture, you have way more work to do than this tip can fix. Consistent high levels of anxiety, adversity and stress are mentally and physically unhealthy for teams.

Recent research from the University of Louisville proves that toxic work environments are incredibly taxing on your health. Stress, work capacity, the physical and social environment, and the meaning found in the work can all increase your risk for chronic diseases.

Is a paycheck worth accelerating or even causing heart disease?

Much can and has been written about how to create a less stressful work environment. I am not tackling those topics, but rather sharing one of my favorite ways to stay connected with and delight people. I’ve found this one thing can ground a team member, even if temporarily.

Got that pen and paper? Good, because my advice is pushing the screen aside and going physical with your communication.

Today’s tip is tapping the power of the handwritten note.

Humans love notes

Think back to when you were a kid in school. No, not the gum in your hair or timeouts, we’re not going that deep.

Remember the emotions you felt when you got hand-drawn Valentine’s Day cards, or when you found letters in your locker, or when you went to college and would get a note from mom or dad. Those moments register on an end of the emotional spectrum that an email can’t compete with, yet so few people tap into the power of the five minute handwritten note.

I became a Creative Director long before I was really ready to lead. I started “ruling” with an iron fist at first, because that’s what I thought you did (I had admittedly read a lot of David Ogilvy—it seemed like the thing to do). With the benefit of hindsight and just not being young and naive, I can now realize that this is no way to lead. Leadership is chess, not checkers. Instead of pawns and Queens you are playing with actions, and emotional responses to those actions. You’re moving one piece to cut off the chance for emotional overloads.

Over time, I came to see my job more as a coach than a titan. It was my job to create the right systems and training to set my team up for success. It was also my job to motivate the team to get to the finish line, and I was responsible for creating a culture of mutual respect.

One tool that I found to be very powerful for the latter was the handwritten note.

At the agency, I started leaving notes with employees at Christmas, along with a small gift like a fun thumb puppet. When I founded GoWild, before we even had an app, I started giving out stickers to raise awareness. Each one went out with a handwritten note thanking the person for their interest, and telling them about GoWild. I sent thousands of such letters all over the country, and many of these people still use the platform today.

Wen we founded GoWild and started building a team, I decided I want to give our employees that same level of attention. Today, everyone on my team gets at least three handwritten letters on a card per year—one on their birthday, and one on their anniversary and another during the holidays.

It doesn’t sound like much, but the employee response would say otherwise. It’s common for me to drop a note in the mail, and a few days later—even on weekends—to get a text from an employee about how much they appreciate that the CEO takes the time to write a full handwritten letter to them. In fact, we’ve only ever lost two people to other opportunities, and in one exit interview, the leaving team member called out how much he loved the culture, from the team “all the way down to those handwritten notes—it’s clear you guys care.”

Note: I’m proud to say of the two employees we’ve lost, we just won one of them back. One of his reasons for coming home? The culture and team.

Remember, employees leave leaders, not companies. One of the most common gripes you’ll hear from a disgruntled team member is that they don’t feel heard or cared about. Taking the time out of your day to sit down and craft a message of gratitude to your team member helps build a bond and send a message that they are always worth your time.

To make this process easy to remember and execute, I put all of my team member’s anniversaries and birthdays on the company calendar. I sit down once a month and look at the milestones coming, then I drop tasks onto my calendar—just 15 minute windows—to sit down and write a note and to mail the card. You could technically build those reminders to be recurring windows, too, but my calendar is crazy so I don’t want stagnant holds for a task that I can do at any time. Often I do these first thing in the morning or late at night.

When you write to your team, even for a birthday, be sure to call out how much you care about them and their work. Mention something specific that they’ve done recently, or wish them fun with their spouse and kids. Without a direct personal connection, this is lip service, which is not at all what you want.

(Also, you should actually care about your team—I can’t imagine I have too many people who don’t care reading my Substack though)

Really early stage companies may take this one step further and even write thank you notes to your customers. We have done this since 2017 when I started shipping those stickers, and we still do it today for orders that leave our Louisville warehouse, believe it or not. These notes have scaled down to a short thank you pre-printed on a sheet of paper and signed by the warehouse crew, but you know what? I still have people reach out and thank me for taking the time to do that. They often say “I have never seen a company do that.” This power move also works for job interviews (in fact, it’s an action that would really stand out post COVID), client pitches, and in other relationships you’re building.

Whether it’s customers or employees, a personal handwritten note appeals to our natural desire for connection. However, do not tap the power of connection if it’s not authentic. This is not a transaction, purchasing loyalty. It’s an investment in the other party. You also can’t expect to be a jerk all year then send a few cards to fix the fact you were an asshole the other 363 days of the year.

The year is about to close, and there is no time to start a new practice. Even if you’re not in leadership, you can still show teammates you care.

How to get physical with handwritten notes:

1) Decide on what frequency you can maintain this new practice

This is not something to enter half heartedly. You can’t do it for some team members and not others, either. Our team is small enough that I can do three cards a year per employee to date, but for you, you may only be able to manage birthdays, or if you’re a huge company, you only do it for your direct reports (this is the best case for most people). Consistency is more important than frequency when getting started. Choose a rhythm that works for you and start.

2) Set aside an hour to build your system

Once you have your milestone chosen, build out your calendar. Create your annual reminders for the event, and set those reminders to fire off at least a week early. This gives you time to create the card and mail it—and it’s important to mail it, not just drop it off at a desk. Getting a letter in the mail is a delight. Getting more crap on your desk is nothing special. Mailing the notes is also remote/hybrid team friendly. Choose a pack of nice, high quality cards now so you have them handy whenever you need them.

3) Be vulnerable and authentic

No, I don’t mean to be weak—it’s OK to share how much you care about a teammate. In a world where companies are doing everything they can to whitewash company cultures of personality, someone saying “I love having you on the team” can carry a lot of weight. Be authentic in your notes, and don’t use a template. Say what you feel, and let this person know why you enjoy working with them. If you don’t enjoy working with them, I recommend this read.

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