Reflections, resolutions and a new tradition

At the end of 2022, I saw an investor Tweet that he would never invest in a founder who wasn’t ready to put his or her life savings into their company.

I found it insulting at first, but came to realize this VC had likely never built anything.

Anyone who has built a company from scratch knows founders make huge investments. No, it’s not always money, but let’s not pretend that converting time to something of value isn’t a punishing exchange rate.

I know what building my company has cost me. I’ve lost touch with friends I cared about. For a period I was so obsessed that I lost sight of how to shut off my founder brain to simply be Brad at social gatherings. My wife called me out for that early in my founder journey, thankfully. While I learned from those shortcomings, other sacrifices were unavoidable.

For example, GoWild became my baby, and cost me time with my other babies.

You know, the human ones.

I tried to do better in 2022 and put my family first. Some weeks were better than others, and overall I feel pretty good about my commitment to my wife and kids in the year of the tiger.

When I compare 2022 to years like 2019? Yeah, 2022 was great.

In 2019 I was traveling nearly every other week, and some months were nonstop. We were in Stadia Ventures’ accelerator program that year and it demanded a lot of in-person events. It was also a year of traveling to meet with brands—we visited the headquarters of giants like Garmin, Polaris and Under Armour, among others. These moments were all critical in building GoWild, but they cost me things I’ll never get back.

I missed my daughter’s first steps. I missed my wife and son’s birthdays. I wasn’t there when my son had a bad scooter accident that tore his face up and ran over my wife’s heart in the process. Weirdly enough I was on the phone with her when it happened, which made it even worse.

That’s not for everybody, and some of you may wonder how it could be for me.

Or maybe you don’t—maybe you’re similar, since you’d care enough to read my weekly reflections.

As the CEO and cofounder, I’ve played all the roles over the years—the face of the brand, podcast host, speaker, chief salesperson, investor relations, marketing director, copywriter, photographer, product fulfillment, etc.

Today I’m going a bit more personal. I’m sharing how investing my time into something I care about pulls me from my family at times, but pays dividends.

This is why I take pride in being a Founding Father.

(Don’t worry moms, that moniker can just as easily be swapped for “Maker Mommas” or something to your liking).

Work ethic isn’t learned—it’s absorbed

I'm coming into my busiest time of the year with trade show season. Despite missing out on school conferences, family dinners and other events, I am confident I’m making the right decisions for myself, and my family.

I think my kids will look at those early years of GoWild not with spite, but pride.

I hope they'll see that I was trying hard to build something for myself, and them.

And I know they’re absorbing my work ethic from these busy times, just as I did from my dad as a kid.

Recently, a friend, past client and, funny enough, the parent to one of my GoWild team members had this to say on this subject recently:

“(Your kids) won’t regret it or have one bit of spite. They need to see their dad work, lead, have passion and build. It is good for them to do things on their own without you as well.

Work life balance is awesome. What I have found is we work to get that balance. It’s awesome to have family time but if you can’t eat, pay your bills and do things it makes family time tough.

As soon as they are born they are taking steps to be on their own. We must prepare them for that. Teaching them that the world doesn’t revolve around them and that others are just as important and are precious to God is so important.

When you are there, when you make time, be present, say your sorry, how proud you are of them and how much they are loved.

Let your yes be yes and no be no. Be consistent. Create expectations. Hold them accountable. Teach appreciation and humility.”

That’s from Ritchie Ware, who himself is a great leader, businessman and father. As if Ritchie’s words weren’t strong enough, I work with his son Brayden and can see just how well he turned out. Ritchie’s got something figured out.

Ritchie calls out a few things in particular that I think are worth emphasizing:

• Life is not all roses and 4 hour work weeks. Work-life balance is achieved by putting in the time to earn the ability to play. Shorting your company and failing to provide makes family life hard (and there are a lot more families depending on me—and you, fellow leaders).

• Raising great kids is not just letting them win—whether that’s at checkers or winning your time. Teach them the world doesn’t revolve around them.

• Be clear with your kids just like you’d try to do with employees. Be consistent. Be firm. Hold them accountable.

I try to avoid going down the rabbit holes about “woke” culture, but one thing I think is dangerous is the idea that work doesn’t matter. It’s a trending narrative right now, and for all of the reasons Ritchie lays out, I think it’s important for our future generations. It’s also important for me, as I imagine it is you. I am a father, but I am also a builder. I need that part of me to exist—it helps me feel fulfilled, and whole when I am at home. I fear we’re building a class of complacent—if not outright lazy—workers.

What is a legacy?

This topic reminds me of a great movie, "The Patriot." Heath Ledger plays a son who is trying to get his father to support the states' fight for independence. Mel Gibson, the father, says "one day when you have a family you'll understand." Heath Ledger's character fires back, "When I have a family, I won't hide behind them."

I'm not fighting for a nation's independence, but I think there is some meat on this metaphorical bone.

I love these kids. Along with getting this wonderful woman to marry me, they're my greatest accomplishments. But they can't be my only accomplishments, and I won't use them as an excuse to not pursue my dreams. One day my kids will outgrow my household. They will go on to have their own families, jobs and homes. And I assure you, it is not lost on me a single day that their contributions to society will be largely rooted in how good of a citizen they learned to be under my leadership at home.

While I'm not founding a country, I am still a founding father.

I’m laying groundwork for the next generation, and their heirs.

I didn’t start my year with a list of things to do or not do. I have, though, spent a decent amount of time reflecting about how I am going to handle another year of busy life as CEO, and asking myself if I’m laying the best foundation for my children. Below are a few observations that I need to do better at after these reflections. I share in hopes that maybe they help someone else see these flaws in themselves. We can course correct together.

Before I get to my wrap up, though, I want to share one more quote from more revolutionary war entertainment. In the musical Hamilton, Alexander Hamilton ponders his own legacy at the end of his life.

“Legacy? What is a legacy? It’s planting seeds in a garden you never get to see.”

I love that.

Being a great role model is not just being present for the present, but investing in the future. Invest wisely this year.

The top 3 things I’ve realized upon reflection:

1) I need to set better boundaries

Last year I created Do Not Disturb settings on my phone to help me focus at work. One setting runs during the work day, and another runs at night. It really helped with my focus. However, I’ve found that I am too often getting sucked back into emails, Slack or, lawd help me, social media apps in the evenings when I should be with my kids. Laptops don’t help the situation, either—they’re far too easy to grab and plop on the couch. I’ve decided to focus on limiting my evening screen time, and increasing my time playing Silent But Deadly or having dance parties.

2) I need to wash off my day at the door

Over the years, I’ve generally done a good job of leaving the work day’s baggage, if I have any, at the door. I can always do better, though. I don’t want to be thinking about funding and legal documents when my kids are telling me about their day.

3) Continue our new dinner time tradition

My wife picked a new dinner tradition from her mother recently, and I love it. As we eat, everyone has to answer three questions:

• What was your favorite part of the day?

• What was your least favorite part of the day?

• What did you do today that showed you have a kind heart?

I guess that sounds cheesy to some, but I don’t care. I’ve seen my kids start to take delight in their kind actions throughout the day, saying things like “That’s going to be my kind heart for the day.” It’s also allowed me to show examples of how I lived my day—examples I hope they are able to learn from.

Who I’m listening to: Nic Jamerson

What I’m reading: “Fire in the Valley: The Birth and Death of the Personal Computer”

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