A coal miner changed my life

I'm the son of a coal miner's daughter.

And a coal miner's son.

Through brave parenting, and old fashioned suffering, I was put on a different path.

My grandfather took a chance on doing something new, and the ripple effects have lasted generations. In fact, I would argue he was the flap of the hummingbird’s wing that created a hurricane that is still getting stronger.

I’m still handing down the work ethic I learned from my grandparents and parents today.

I speak with too many leaders and founders who allow their kids to become excuses instead of forerunners. Today I’m sharing a few reasons why the best thing for your kids is to commit to the thing that’s going to pull you away from them.

And the lesson begins underground.

A dark history

Recently I was talking to my dad, asking questions about our family's history. My papaw JC was a coal miner, as was most of my family on both sides up until recently.

When mamaw Zella was pregnant with dad, JC decided to get out of mining. He knew if he had a boy, in 18 years his son would likely join the family business and risk his life in long shifts in 30" coal. In addition to back breaking work and long days, it was one of the most dangerous in the world.

53 miners were killed the year my dad was born.

Papaw's first move was to join the migrating Appalachians who moved from the mountains to Michigan, where they worked in the automobile factories. Papaw and mamaw only stayed for 90 days because he hated the monotony of a factory line. They went back to Harlan County, where he made a total career pivot (maybe this explains my career so far, which is a series of pivots—must be genetic).

Papaw went into insurance.

Over time, it would prove out that dad would indeed follow in papaw's footsteps. My dad took his first job at an insurance agency as a bill collector a few years before I was born.

It was not fun or glorifying work, but through his own hard work, my dad became an agency manager. Dad's done really well for himself, and I'm proud of him. Papaw was, too.

JC took the risk of change because he believed the long-term gain was going to be better for his kid. He felt he could change his son's life by setting an example that you don't have to go with the flow.

I undoubtedly have a solid work ethic. It’s probably one of my best traits—I will just brute force outwork most people when the time comes. I learned it from JC, my dad, and my other grandfather, Dillard, who was also a coal miner. But thanks to JC’s decision, I didn’t move into the family business of working underground.

I come from a long lineage of coal miners. My great grandfather was a key figure in the strikes in the 1930s. My mom’s dad Dillard took up the same fight in the 1960s. And many of my family members kept with the family business, and suffered as a result, including deaths, lost and crushed limbs, and other injuries.

While I’m proud of their hard work for powering our country through wars and into modern times, I have no regrets about having never worn the family crest of a mining cap.

It’s actually a modern tale

Today I meet many ambitious young parents who are in similar positions of opportunity, but they miscalculate the risk vs. reward. For parents who are startup founders considering making the jump or leaders considering making bold moves for their career, this is my advice:

Your kids aren't a reason to play it safe and not chase your dream. They're the reason you should.

Yes, I've sacrificed time with my kids over the years while building GoWild. I've missed first steps, birthdays, and milestones.

And it hurts.

But pain is also when we grow the most.

There are dozens of memories we've created in this journey, such as putting together our first office with my son, having his help preparing packages, watching the kids draw robots and unicorns on our whiteboards, and watching my son mimic my investor pitches.

Through all of this, I believe I'm setting an example for my kids.

And I'm not hiding behind them as an excuse.

I don't want that burden on them—that they held me back. I want to continue the family tradition pushing my kids upward by example.

These lessons aren't "brofessional” hustle speak. I've grown tired of people acting like hustling doesn't work. It does—I've seen it work time and time again for our family. And I'm continuing the family tradition.

Swing big.

Work hard.

Build a legacy they'll be talking about when you're gone.

RIP, papaw. Thanks for digging into digging out.

3 things to remember for parents who are leaders

1) Teaching your kids the world doesn’t revolve around them is the best lesson you can ever share

I’m not going to complain about participation awards today, but make no mistake—modern parenting is raising a soft generation. Helicopter parents are raising children who have on-demand entertainment (instant “play with me” time, screen time, and their subscription-based shows don’t even have ads to teach at least a little patience). Teaching your kid that mommy or daddy has other responsibilities and that other people depend on them, too, is a great lesson in life and forces them to learn independence.

2) Work ethic is a direct result of nurture, not nature

Your kids will learn a lot from school and they’ll learn communication from their peers, but their work ethic is directly tied to mom and dad. Be there for them, and teach them the meaning of hard work. Even with AI and God knows what else is coming, those who work hard will have cake. That is at the core of being human, and even an artificially intelligent robot isn’t going to take that away.

3) Chasing a career you love will make you a better person

Being able to do work that makes you feel whole means you’re whole at home. When you work for people you hate, or companies you don’t believe in, that creates a void that will eat at you when you’re home. I distinctively remember working with someone who I loathed, and realizing it wasn’t healthy one night when I was giving my son a bath—all I could think about was a workplace argument with this jackass. Take care of yourself at work, so you can be yourself when you’re with your kids.

Who I’m listening to: Max Richter

What I’m reading: “The Martian” by Andy Weir

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